RFA Talk > Friday night RFA phone meeting and powerlessness
I hope folks are having enjoying the weekend!
Just a positive pitch here for the Friday night phone meeting, which begins at 8 PM EST, 7 PM CST, 6 PM MST and 5 PM PST. The format is similar to face-to-face RFA meetings, and the topics for the month follow the same schedule, Week 1 is powerlessness, Week 2 is taken from the first 164 pages of the Big Book, Week 3 is the step of the month, and Weeks 4/5 are taken from Kay Sheppard's books The Body Knows or From the First Bite.
This past Friday night the topic was powerlessness and the leader read from the format which says "Week 1 POWERLESSNESS. This is very important. Until we accept we are powerless, we cannot go any further." I have seen this and heard this and probably said this many times without much awareness of its meaning, until it was read this week, when I heard it differently. My awareness this week was that I am stuck in my place when I believe I can control/fix/change something I am powerless over. I just don't budge, I can't. Once I can let go of trying to control the outcome (what something is going to look like) and let the God of my understanding (reality, for instance, including the physical and spiritual laws of the universe) take over, I do go further. WHen I am flailing about trying to exert my opinion, influence, and demands (as if those physical and spiritual laws don't apply to me), I cannot go any further, I just get stuck in quicksand.
The truth is that my vision and imagination are pretty limited. I get in my head "If my life would look like this, then I will be happy" or "I must have this to be happy or satisfied." I came into RFA to lose weight, mainly, thinking that when I weigh this, I will be happy. Well, in recovery I got way below that weight (I never thought I would be able to get below 185 and now I weigh 171) and even getting to that weight, I was still a mess. The work of recovery has given me WAY more than I ever expected or even knew was possible for me--I thought I was doomed to be feel bad about myself, have little confidence in my career, feel inferior to and apart from my colleagues, never truly connect with people and be on the outside looking in for the rest of my life. Surprise! I have been rocketed into the fourth dimension, beyond my wildest dreams or ability to imagine. But not until I accepted thet I was powerless over food and accepted the process laid out in the Big Book that has helped so many people. And acceptance meant doing what has worked for them, not the least I could do, which is what I practiced for years, in order to lose the weight. "Some of us have tired to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely." My old idea that losing weight would cure my problems, the old idea that I know what will make the happiest.
Thanks for a really meaningful meeting Friday night, for me, anyway.
I hope folks are having enjoying the weekend!
Just a positive pitch here for the Friday night phone meeting, which begins at 8 PM EST, 7 PM CST, 6 PM MST and 5 PM PST. The format is similar to face-to-face RFA meetings, and the topics for the month follow the same schedule, Week 1 is powerlessness, Week 2 is taken from the first 164 pages of the Big Book, Week 3 is the step of the month, and Weeks 4/5 are taken from Kay Sheppard's books The Body Knows or From the First Bite.
This past Friday night the topic was powerlessness and the leader read from the format which says "Week 1 POWERLESSNESS. This is very important. Until we accept we are powerless, we cannot go any further." I have seen this and heard this and probably said this many times without much awareness of its meaning, until it was read this week, when I heard it differently. My awareness this week was that I am stuck in my place when I believe I can control/fix/change something I am powerless over. I just don't budge, I can't. Once I can let go of trying to control the outcome (what something is going to look like) and let the God of my understanding (reality, for instance, including the physical and spiritual laws of the universe) take over, I do go further. WHen I am flailing about trying to exert my opinion, influence, and demands (as if those physical and spiritual laws don't apply to me), I cannot go any further, I just get stuck in quicksand.
The truth is that my vision and imagination are pretty limited. I get in my head "If my life would look like this, then I will be happy" or "I must have this to be happy or satisfied." I came into RFA to lose weight, mainly, thinking that when I weigh this, I will be happy. Well, in recovery I got way below that weight (I never thought I would be able to get below 185 and now I weigh 171) and even getting to that weight, I was still a mess. The work of recovery has given me WAY more than I ever expected or even knew was possible for me--I thought I was doomed to be feel bad about myself, have little confidence in my career, feel inferior to and apart from my colleagues, never truly connect with people and be on the outside looking in for the rest of my life. Surprise! I have been rocketed into the fourth dimension, beyond my wildest dreams or ability to imagine. But not until I accepted thet I was powerless over food and accepted the process laid out in the Big Book that has helped so many people. And acceptance meant doing what has worked for them, not the least I could do, which is what I practiced for years, in order to lose the weight. "Some of us have tired to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely." My old idea that losing weight would cure my problems, the old idea that I know what will make the happiest.
Thanks for a really meaningful meeting Friday night, for me, anyway.
Steve in Georgia