I posted this on "TheBodyKnows" yahoo group at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheBodyKnows , so if you already saw it there just ignore. Thought I would post it here also... feel so blessed!

I celebrated, by God's Grace, the gift of 12 years of abstinence yesterday. Miracle? You bet! Thanks to all of you who have helped me on my journey. Kay, her food plan, this loop, RFA meetings, sponsors, sponsees and fellow travelers on the road of happy destiny have made this quite a ride.

When I look back to 8/20/2000 I see a 31 year old girl who was 5ft. 10in. tall and weighed 370lbs, did not believe God had any place in her life and was quite mad at Him if He did exist, newly married to the most patient man in the world, was suicidal, hated her job, had no desire to ever be a parent because she truly believed she would mess kids up (which would have been true in the disease), could not even walk for exercise anymore due to her size, had swollen legs and ankles all of the time, had high blood pressure, was pre-diabetic, could not walk far or climb a flight of stairs without shortness of breath, snored like you cannot believe, had burned many friendships because of constant unreturned phone calls, cancelled plans, no show to events, had quit 12 step programs that never worked in the past, had quit therapy that had never worked in the past, felt like a complete moral failure because she could not control her food or any other aspect of her life.

Today, when I look in the mirror I see a 43 year old woman who is now 5ft 9 1/2 in tall (thanks to gravity and age) has weighed between 150 to 160lbs for 10.5 years (took 1.5 years to lose the weight and it did go up just 25lbs. 2 times while pregnant), has a relationship with God that is amazing and beautiful and has been back in her faith and church over 10 years now, is still married to the most patient man in the world, is the HAPPY mother of the 2 most beautiful little girls in the universe (in her humble opinion)ages 5 and 3 who are complete miracles thanks to the internal healing that made having children possible when before she was told that was impossible and can't even fathom the thought of NOT being a parent, who has not contemplated suicide in 12 years when it used to be a daily thought, who loves the job she has had for almost 9 years now, who runs 3.5 miles 2 to 3 days a week and bikes 10 miles 2 to 3 days a week, averaging 5 days of exercise/wk, who hasn't snored for years, has not had swollen ankles or legs except very briefly at the end of her 2 beautiful pregnancies, who has many friends who can rely on her because she keeps her commitments and is responsible, who has been a very pleased and proud member of
RFA for 12 years and is so grateful that there is a 12 step program that has the correct information for a food addict, who began therapy again 2 years ago after 10 years of abstinence and is AMAZED at how much it is helping and moving her forward along with the years of step work she has done, who knows she does not have a moral problem but a disease and that she did not eat because of her problems, instead she had all of her problems because of the way she ate, who also knows today that food is not her problem - SHE is the problem and must continue the hard work to live a spiritual way of life, and who truly knows there are 2 books that contain the instructions she needs for living: The Big Book of OA and the Bible, and who must continually pinch herself because when the Big Book promised her a life beyond her wildest dreams, it was not kidding, and when the Bible states "with God all things are possible" it is the TRUTH!

So THANK YOU for helping me to see that 12 years later, I still cannot control my food or any other aspect of my life, but by God I DO enjoy my abstinent life today!

And how did this 43 year old woman celebrate such an anniversary? Well with a big PARTY! What kind of party? The kind where you have 2 little girls and a bunch of stuffed animals sit around a table made of pillows topped with a blanket and you drink abstinent tea and punch from tiny play cups and have pretend abstinent snacks while the rest eat pretend cake because Mommy's belly is broken and she can't have cake as they say in this woman's house. Then you turn off all of the lights, break out some glow sticks and dance around in the dark making glow stick designs in the air. Now that's celebrating!

Love,
Stephanie Z.

Stephanie--

Just awesome!! I am honored to be on this path with you. Thanks for your support over the years. I look forward to many more!

Love ya,

Steve

Stephanie,

Congratulations on your anniversary. You are such a beautiful person. I am so happy to call you my friend. Thanks for the beautiful share.

Mary Rose

Thanks for the post and congratulations!
I'm encouraged and hopeful about what is to come.
love,
Kasey

Stephanie,
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your inspirational story. What a wonderful way to celebrate, and what an incredible journey.
Love,
Kelly

Congratulations, Stephanie!! Thanks for sharing this wonderful story! I look forward to meeting you one day! Love, Alison

Wow Stephanie! Praise God! You are a true miracle! I am so glad you are a part of my life again! You give me hope, you are carrying the message!