I am so grateful for my fourth consecutive abstinent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! Christmas Past - Bingeing, hiding, ashamed, distant from others, irritated, dissatisfied, afraid. Christmas Present - Content, open, accepting of self and others, peaceful, joyous, connected, trusting. I thank all of you! Together we can do what we cannot do alone. Long term abstinence after repeated relapses is possible and beautiful! I hope to hear from everyone at the Monday night phone meeting on New Year's! Love to all! Alison

Allison,

Thanks for your beautiful post. I identify completely. Brings back a lot of memories of past Christmas's. I'm so glad I now have the abstinent christmas present.

Mary Rose

Hi Alison,

My Christmas past was- overeating, isolated, and depressing.
My Christmas present is- meaningful, in the moment, abstinent.

Thank you for this awesome post!

Keisha
May the peace of God be your empire

This is my third Christmas of abstinence and I have never been more at peace with myself. Just finished vacation and a cruise and with all my planning had not once incident. As the years go by it gets easier and easier. While everyone is gorging themselves and the smell of baking sweets is in the air, I am completely satisfied and very full off my planned meals. There is not a night that goes by that I don't say a prayer for this group for you have truly helped me start a new life.

Thank you Alison for your post. I love how you decribe things and I feel the same way.

Christmas past I was insatiable, uncomfortable in my body and withdrawn.
Christmas present I am sated, peaceful and connected. This is my second abstinent holiday season and I am so grateful for all I have in my life and all that I have let go of. My life just keeps getting better and better as I am able to face each obstacle in my path and see it as a chance to take 100% responsability so that I can know a peace beyond all understanding. Bless you all. Thank you. I love you.

Tracy L in GA

Thanks for the service challenge.
Christimas past was really a time for me to use as much as I could. Because I'm an addict, all of the addicitve substances that I used worked to help me feel more connected and a part of whatever was going on...until they didn't.
I would often be happy to go back to work because I couldn't physically tolerate all of the abuse I gave my body. But going back to work only slowed me down, never stopped my using altogether so the misery that would begin after the first few days of "freedom" wouldn't entirely go away.

Christmas present means a new kind of freedom. The freedom that comes from having a weighed and measured food plan, reporting and sticking to it (most of the time). I still sometime have trouble being present to my family. We all have very different interests and it's hard for me to stay focused for long on things I don't like. I do refuse some things altogether if they are particularly dangerous to my abstinence or spirituality.

Christmas past: Loafing, abusing my body, ultimately feeling disconnnected.

Christmas present: Freedom, growing in true connectedness, peace.

Love,
Kasey