On February 27th of this year, I posted that I was dipping my toe back into recovery after relapse. I had been abstinent for many years. I was scared and nervous - and it didn't last. Less than a month after that post, I fell on the ice and severely injured my arm. I had emergency surgery and was in the hospital for 5 days. Less than a week out of the hospital I developed a serious staff infection - 2nd surgery and 2nd 5 day stay at the hospital. All of it was too much for a struggling food addict fresh into abstinence. I believe that it is very possible to get through crises while maintaining abstinence - I just couldn't do it.

Today is my "Day 1 Again". I've been stalking this site and these posts for weeks. I've been working my other 12 step program, working with my sponsor in that program, and have been blessed to gain some emotional sobriety - along with many, many unwanted pounds.

I had made the decision to come back to health - then I read Kasey's post about willingness vs. trying. I was strengthened and motivated by those words. I am grateful for the many creative ways my higher power continues to try to reach my stubborn soul.

Today I am willing. I am not trying - I am willing.

Today my abstinence feels like coming home.

Theresa,

I am willing .. sounds like you are choosing recovery over the disease.
This is positive thinking, your higher power is working for you.
One day at a time.... Let go and let God.

Welcome back, Theresa.
To quote a friend in the program,
"This hasn't always been an easier way of living, but it sure as hell has been a better way."
I couldn't agree more. Keep coming back, The only people who don't get this are the ones who quit coming back.
Keep in touch.
Kasey
678-923-9452

Welcome back Theresa. Kasey's post about willingness vs. trying was a tremendous help to me also. I too had several years of abstinence when three years ago life happened and I lost my abstinence. It has been a long struggle back but finding this website along with others has aided me back into the abstinence I once knew. Along with working the steps with my sponsor and attending face-to-face meetings in my area, I pray daily, hourly, sometimes by the minute to keep this abstinence. Also, I have committed to reading these postings and sometimes responding to them on a daily basis. Keeping coming back. I believe there is only one way to fail and that is to give up.

Hi Theresa,
How's it going? Haven't seen a post from you in a little while. I hope your holiday season is going well.
Talk to you later.
Kasey

Hi Kasey. I haven't looked at this website for a long time, which should tell you how I'm doing. I've continued to relapse because my efforts at abstinence and recovery have been "my way" rather than the way that works. I've had some significant personal hits, if you will, recently. I'm separated from my husband, after 25 years of marriage. I'm constantly relapsing with other addictive substances. And I'm in the hospital for the third time in 5 weeks for acute pancreatitis. However, I believe I've hit bottom, which is a good thing because the only place to go from here is up. I've secured a spot in an intensive outpatient treatment program for 8 weeks, beginning in September. Food is my primary addiction but I have others as well. Good intentions and saying I'll go to meetings has not been enough. It's time for something else - hence the treatment. I'm scared but committed. I'll be visiting this page more frequently now. Hope all is well with you. I see you continue to share your recovery blessings here and I thank you.
Theresa

Hi Theresa,
Thanks for reaching out. I'm glad that you are getting the support that you need to become free of addictive illness. I would love to support you in whatever way works. If direct contact doesn't work now, please know that I am thinking of you and hopeful for your recovery. Check out our phone meetings if you can.
Take care.
Love,
Kasey