Hi all,
Yesterday i got to lead the discussion at the Saturday Atlanta meeting of RFA. At the end of my story i said that i went home from my first meeting and began to learn how to feed myself. This morning i was thinking about what that means at 7 years abstinent.
At this point, i know enough about which foods work and which ones don't, how to get the food bought and prepared, reported, portioned and, of course, eaten!
But feeding myself today is about more than just physical food. I quoted a line from Kay's book that often we automatically think of eating when there is a need. The addiction in me thinks that addictive foods will satisfy all of my needs.
Recovery tells me that physical food only satisfies physical hunger. If I am angry, tired or lonely, I need another solution.
Today I am recognizing that I alone am responsible for determining my needs - other people cannot do this for me. Then I take the actions needed to bring about the solution.
That is really a major key to happy abstinence.
It has taken me a long time to realize that for many years, I've been feeling angry that food doesn't work anymore. In abstinence from addictive foods, I tried a lot of other activities. None of them has worked either. Now that I'm aware of that, I can really feel those feelings and release them. Then, I'm free to move on and see what I can pack into the stream of life.
Glad for abstinence today and for the opportunity to share myself with others and get more insight into my diseases. The more i learn about it's complexities, the more willing I become to surrender; I just don't have the power to overcome it with my unaided will. But with my HP, the food plan and the fellowship, I have an extraordinary chance at recovering and becoming a sane and happy member of society.
Kasey

Hey Kasey! I've found my way back to abstinence. Day 9. I'm attending phone meetings Monday-Saturday, planning and reporting my food, participating in a 12 Step study, among other things. I've isolated myself long enough (3 years) and am happy to be back in the light of abstinent recovery! My new phone number is 470-419-9225 and I don't have your number. I would love for you to call when you have time :)